I’ve Been Given a Gift
March 25th, 2010I’VE BEEN GIVEN A GIFT
I was given a gift that I most truly don’t understand. Most people wouldn’t even see it as a gift but I can’t look at it in any other way. It is a gift. Just recently I was diagnosed with a faulty, leaky heart valve. With further tests they discovered some minor blockage (60%) in three of my arteries. None of those in and of themselves is life-threatening in the immediate future. All of them together would in time make my life something akin to vegetable soup. Amazingly, since I was young, my silent and growing, innate fear has been to die or to be impaired by a heart attack or stroke. I’ve been fortunate. My body has thwarted major diseases and minor flus while pushing hard towards the goals I set for myself and the churches I’ve worked with.
Here is where the gift I don’t understand comes into play. Right now, I am looking at a new heart valve and a triple by-pass at the same time. Doesn’t sound like a gift does it? It is though. I will undergo this while I am in good health and still relatively young. There is no pressing date therefore I have ample time to set up things to cover me while I am down. After recovery I will still be young but healthier. BUT the real gift comes in that God has removed the nagging fear that laid in the back of my mind all my life: that I would die from a heart attack at a young age. When I cast all my fears and worries upon Him I never dreamed he would take care of it this way. Nevertheless, God has delivered a viable answer to a prayer request about a nagging worry. He didn’t do it in a way that I wanted. I preferred “the beat my body up and eat pizza everyday until I die at 90” method but the Lord had other plans.
Here is the plan for my recovery. First of all, I need to get as strong as I can before surgery. Better eating is first to come. I will fight the temptation to become a health food nazi but I will have to go for the brown rice over the French frie. Secondly, Marylee had the good sense to follow God’s leading and get me into a living place where we can walk daily on a level surface. This will strengthen me physically.
I don’t plan to be down for long but when I am down and recovering I will be working on three things: 1. Plans for improving our church ministries, 2. my new novel and 3. blogging on our church website. Joni can expect a hundred emails a day which will be down from my normal flow to her inbox.
Again, why is this an unexpected gift? I have many ideas and a vast amount of interests. I like to achieve great things for God if He is willing. It has saddened me that I have been running at half-power for the last few years. I thought it was age and the extra baggage around my waist. I honestly am not used to running at this slow of a pace. Like Rick Hanavan, I will be back in the marathon races (figuratively for me but literally for him). God has given me a gift. He’s given me a bright and healthy future free of the worry that once laid heavy on my heart. We’ll claim this verse for the future: II Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” In my case some parts will even be new. Praise God for His wisdom and timing.